July 10, 2009
The most interesting things happened to me at Lighthouse today. Oh the joys of the Senior Service Project.
Working title: My Encounter With Ms. Kim, AKA Attila the Hun (A Comedy in Two Parts)
ACT 1
Woke up at 6 and thought it was 7 and I was going to be late. Panicked briefly before calming down and packing swim stuff. Stopped at On-the-Run for chocolate mini-doughnuts and a Starbucks Frappuccino. Got some gum, too.
Arrived at Lighthouse to find that Jeremy was already there. Went into ADL (Assisted Daily Living) room and reminded Jeremy that it was, indeed, Friday. Went to bathroom with Jeremy following closely. Told him to NOT come in. One minute after the door closed, it opened again.
*cue muffled laughter*
Me: Jeremy?
*more muffled laughter*
Me: Get out!
Jeremy: Who, me?
Me: Yes, you! You're not supposed to be in here; this is a women's restroom!
Jeremy: Who, me?
Me: YES! GET OUT!
Jeremy left. Upon returning to the ADL room, found Kristen and told her what happened.
ACT 2
New kid arrived, named Allen. Pretty cool guy. Spent an hour or so bagging soap (and building huts and bombs with Kunal and Steven), being incredibly bored. Got in minor trouble for the hut-building and bombing. Soon enough, Kunal ordered Oumar to get another crate of soap to pour onto the table. Got tired of their bickering and went to carry a crate myself. I can do that, you know.
*enter Ms. Kim, aka Attila the Hun*
Attila: No no no, don't you lift that box!
Me: Huh?
Attila: Let him *gestures to Oumar* get that box. You shouldn't be lifting that heavy thing!
Me: It's fine, I can carry it--
Attila: You shouldn't be lifting that, it's too heavy for you. There are plenty of boys around to move those boxes. If you keep lifting heavy things you could mess up your insides. Don't you want to get married one day and have children?
Me: No.
Attila: *pause* Well, if you change your mind and decide to have kids, all that heavy lifting could damage your insides, not to mention your back. I've been watching you struggle with those boxes and look *gestures to Oumar*, he's already done with it! Now, I don't want to see you lifting any more of those boxes, you hear? We're girls, and we're not built with muscles like boys are.
Glared at Attila the Hun as she went back to prowling. Proceeded to tell Kunal, Oumar, Steven, and Kristen about the above conversation. All agreed she was being ridiculous. And, as Kristen later pointed out, she was wearing pants today. Stupid traditionalist Attila. To those who know me, you can understand how much this encounter got on my nerves.
FINIS
Love, Lauren
That's about it. May the Force be with us all.
